The Best Sleep Training Methods To Use With Twins
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As a new twin mom in 2016, there was very little information about how to help my twins learn how to sleep. The only information I could find that was specific to twins involved the Cry It Out method. Sleep training twins does not have to mean cry it out! There are so many different sleep training methods but not all of them are logistically going to work for twin families. As a Registered Nurse, certified sleep consultant, and mom of five (including a set of twins), I am here to help parents and especially twin parents establish healthy sleep habits for everyone to get better nighttime sleep. Here are a few tips for which methods work best to sleep train twins at different ages.
Remember that if your twins were born more than 4 weeks early, you may need to adjust wake windows and sleep expectations to meet their adjusted age.
Newborn-3 months
At this age, it’s important to have pretty low expectations when it comes to getting those longer stretches of sleep. At this age, the main thing you will focus on creating a soothing sleep environment along with watching their cues. Newborns are really too young to be starting formal sleep training just yet. There are some strategies you can start to implement to lay the ground work for sleep training later on.
Wake Windows and Sleepy Cues
This stage is a time that you are getting to know your babies for the first time outside of the womb. You will start to learn their “language” of cues. They have cues for hunger, for satisfaction, and even sleepiness. Watch for eye rubs, yawns, “the stare” and fussiness. As the wake window closes, turn on white noise, swaddle, give a pacifier, and lay them in their own crib. Give them the opportunity to try and fall asleep on their own without being rocked, nursed, or fed to sleep. Use a tracking app or a sleep log to keep tabs on their wake windows. Watching their wake windows and sleepy cues is the best way to start to get your twins on the same sleep schedule.
The 3-5 S’s
The 5 S’s are a great way to help your newborns calm down and get to sleep. They stand for Sound/Shushing, Sucking, Swaddle, Swinging, and Side hold. If you are on your own with twins newborns, the side hold and swinging might be a little challenging. This method often becomes the 3 S’s for twins. Having a white noise machine going during sleep time is one of the most important things in your twins’ nursery. Sucking can be from a pacifier if they will take one. Swaddling before they can roll is also going to be very helpful to soothe and keep them asleep longer.
You can modify the 5th S (swing) by using a baby swing to calm them down. However, baby swings are not recommended for sleep by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Use it to help one twin stay calm while you are rocking the other who might be having a harder time.
I used to be afraid that my twin babies would “get used to” these soothing methods and never be able to transition out of them. The truth is, the first year with any baby is full of transition, growth, and development. In the newborn phase, your babies lack the brain function to calm themselves. This is partially why the newborn phase is considered the 4th trimester. They still very much need their parents and caregivers to provide soothing for them. This will not always be the case.
Why I like the 3-5 S’s for twins:
It gives your babies a sense of comfort and security in their first weeks of life. This will help them to feel confident and ready to sleep on their own as they grow and developed. It can be done for 2 babies at the same time without too much logistical difficulty.
Challenges:
One parent likely won’t be able to hold two babies on their side or swing them at the same time.
Shush/Pat
When both babies are fed, dry, and showing signs of sleepiness, it’s time to lay them down. Lay your babies down swaddled, sucking, and with white noise. If only one is crying, great! you can feel free to pick that one up and do the side hold and swing. But if both continue to cry more than a minute or two, you can try the shush/pat method. Place the babies next to each other in a crib or a twin bassinet and prop them to their sides. You can try gently rolling them side to side or softly patting their backside in a soothing rhythm. You can do this until they calm down or fall asleep.
*****IMPORTANT****: Never leave your baby on their side or tummy to sleep. You must turn your babies back onto their backs for sleeping. Remove anything like a pillow or blanket that you may have been using to prop them. The American Academy of Pediatrics also recommends that twins sleep in separate sleeping spaces. Carefully move them once they have fallen asleep. Some parents think this isn’t necessary in the early days because they aren’t rolling over yet. As newborns, if they are too close, its very possible that one twin and start sucking on their siblings’ face. While this can be cute to watch, they can actually dehydrate their twin, so it’s important to keep them apart.
Why it works for twin sleep training:
You are able to provide several different soothing elements (sucking, swaddling, shushing, swinging/rocking, and side lying) all at the same time for 2 babies.
Challenges:
Some twins are easier to move after falling asleep. You can try using the Twin Halo bassinet, which allows your twins to stay close while still keeping them in their own sleeping space. It’s also possible that one crying twin could disturb the other, but many newborns are able to ignore many of these noises.
4-6 months
In this stage, your twins might be ready to start sleeping on a schedule during the day that meets their wake windows and sleep requirements. Remember that you should adjust their age based on their due date if they were born more than 4 weeks from being full term. Keep in mind that the 4 month sleep regression my creep up during this time. That doesn’t mean twin parents can’t find sleep success in this stage.
Cribside Comfort
I find this method to work well for twin parents because they aren’t having to pick up their babies. It’s a lot like the shush pat method that I described in the newborn section. You will lay the babies in their cribs at nap or bedtime and allow them to fuss or cry for 2-3 minutes. If they continue to cry, you can go to their bedside and rub their belly or back, pat their backside, or rock them side to side. At 4-6 months, try to do this only until they stop crying and then move away in order to give them an opportunity to fall asleep. If needed, pick up your baby that is struggling, but try to put them down as soon as they calm.
Why it works for twin sleep training:
This is a gentle method of sleep training that one parent is able to do on their own while still giving your babies the opportunity to learn to fall asleep on their own.
Challenges:
By this time, it can be difficult to move your babies after they fall asleep, so settling them in their own cribs is preferred. This can be challenging for one parent to provide comfort at the same time. They may have also outgrown their bassinet at this point. A parent may find themselves moving between 2 cribs in order to settle one at a time.
6-18 months
By 6 months of age, your babies are likely ready for the sleep training process, although it may look a little different as they get older. For younger babies, parents of twins may be ready to allow their babies to cry a bit more without the cry it out method. Older babies may cry more when their routines are changed even if comfort is offered. At this stage, having a solid daytime schedule, consistent bedtime routine, and a sleep training strategy is going to prevent a lot of nighttime wakings.
Quick Checks
After completing their bedtime routine and laying each of them in their own sleep space, say a key phrase such as “it’s sleepy time now.” Then walk out of the room. Choose an amount of time that you feel comfortable with leaving them. this could be 2-15 minutes, or more/less that part is totally up to you. Set a timer for yourself so that you stick to the time you chose. If they are still crying or upset after you leave them in their cribs for your chosen amount of time, go back in for a quick check. This could be just a visual check, giving verbal reassurance, a quick cuddle, or even picking them up for a few seconds if they are very upset.
Keep in mind many older babies will actually get more upset with physical comforting. This should be quick and then walk away again. Repeat these steps as many times as you feel are needed or until they fall asleep. If they are crying more that what you are comfortable with, you can try rocking or cuddling them. Try to put them down in their crib before they actually fully fall asleep.
Why it works for twin sleep training:
You can choose to be pretty hands off with this method and offer verbal reassurance and only physical comfort when needed. The most important thing is that you are checking on their safety and wellbeing. This is also a great strategy to use at nap time and in the middle of the night.
Challenges:
The first night can result in a lot of crying, especially for twins that have been co sleeping or being fed/rocked to sleep.
Sleep deprivation is one of the most difficult challenges for parents of multiples, especially during the first year. Establishing healthy sleep habits and sleep patterns in the early years can feel daunting, but the end result is totally worth it. If you are still struggling with getting your twins to sleep, reach out and schedule a sleep assessment with me. I’d love to support you in getting your twins to be the best sleepers possible.
