Proven Strategies for Potty Training Your Twins

Are You Ready?

It’s perhaps just as important if not more important that you, the parent(s) are ready for potty training. If you have a big change coming up in the next 6 months or so, it’s best to hold off.  You are going to be the one doing a lot of extra work. While the first week is often the most challenging, It’s possible that this will be a hard month. It’s best to hold off until after that important business trip. Are you ready to clean up extra messes (they WILL happen)? Are you in a headspace to be super patient with your twins? If not, I suggest holding off until you are in a good place. Do you have a couple of weekends coming up where one parent can be home with the potty training child all day? 

Tandem Training or Training Separate?

Decide if you are going to tandem train or train separately. Maybe one twin is showing more signs of readiness than the other.  

Here are my pros and cons of tandem training: 

Pros: 

• Less time needed for potty training altogether 
• Saving money by not buying diapers
• Twins both feel sense of accomplishment together
• Easier to continue the same daily schedule

Cons:

• Twice as much mess (and there will be messes)
• More logistical concerns
• One twin may not be ready 
• More attention to watching two children show signs of needing the potty
• You may end up spending more time in the long run with potty training if one is not yet ready
• Requires more patience as it can be more frustrating for the parent, leading to frustration for your twins. 
• Kids will train faster if they have 1:1 attention from their parent, which isn’t really possible with one parent and 2+ kids.

Pros and Cons of Potty Training One at a Time:

Pros

• More time to give individual attention to each child, leading to faster learning
• Less logistical planning
• Only cleaning one mess at a time
• Being able to follow the lead of each individual child
• Can be motivating for one twin to see their sibling train first

Cons 

• Takes more time out of the parents’ schedule
• The need to also make a plan of care for the other twin 
• Could possibly affect the daily schedule if one twin is using the potty and the other is using diapers
• Possibility for sibling rivalry

It is possible to train both twins at the same time, or around the same time even if one seems more ready than the other. The key is to be gracious and flexible with the twin who might not be 100% ready. You may need to hold off for a while if they are resisting too much. On the other hand, the less eager twin might see their twin using the potty and decide that they are ready to try. With twins, it’s important not to put too much pressure on them.  

If your twins train at different times, its just fine. It’s just one more of those things that makes each twin unique. I think training them at separate times about a week apart is the way to go, but I can understand why some twin families would want to potty train them together. 

Preparing for the 3 day Potty training Method

These 3 days, expect to be disconnected from most of the world. Don’t plan to catch up on emails or zoom calls while your child is awake. You should not be on your phone except for very short amounts of time. Try to view it as a weekend that you get to spend dedicated, quality time with your child(ren). Probably not something you get to do very often as a twin mom. I honestly remember the early potty training days with my twin boys as a very sweet time. I got to spend one on one time with each of them doing activities that they liked and getting to celebrate their accomplishments.

Checklist:

Activities: 

These should be engaging, SCREEN FREE activities. Think books, watercolor, play dough, a new kinetic sand set, and sensory toys. I also like having a large mixing bowl of water with measuring cups that your child can pour from cup to cup. You will be watching your child like a hawk, so don’t worry too much about these messes. As much as you can avoid having your child watch TV or look at a phone, the better. 

Books: 

• Daniel Tiger’s Potty Time!  I Love this book because it matches the beloved show and has a very memorable song to go with it. 
• Potty Time with Bean A must have for anyone who loves Ms. Rachel. 
• We Poop on the Potty!  Normalizes pooping on the potty and has interesting facts along with colorful pictures. I like the key phrase that your child can repeat over and over. 
• Elmo’s Potty Book is a great supplement to other books as it is a seek and find book that your little ones can look at while they have their potty time. 

Get a bunch of potties

With twins, I HIGHLY recommend having potty chairs for each child. If you live in a house with more than one level, I do suggest having a potty for each twin on each floor. Even if you only have 1 bathroom, have a potty for each twin on each floor of your home that you use regularly.

I like this Munchkin potty, recommend it. I love that it has a lid and can double as a step stool. Unless you have a much larger than average bathroom, you probably don’t have space for potties and step stools. I find they are easy to clean out and I like having the odor blocker built in and the seat is comfortable. It’s a little bit industrial looking, but as a step stool, I feel confident that it’s not going to slip out from under them. In the end, keep the potty chairs themselves as simple as possible. 

For now, you will want to skip the cute little seats that fit over the regular toilet. You will get there, but at this point, its just too complicated and scary for most kids. They are also less convenient at first when you will want to have a potty close by in the living room (seriously). Having their own little potty is absolutely the way to go for at least the first 6 months of potty training use. 

Big Kid Underwear.

Let your child pick out their favorite pair when you are out shopping or just get them a pair that you know they’ll love. Get regular underwear and NOT the padded ones. These feel a lot like diapers and will encourage your child to pee in them. We don’t want that. 

Consider a Reward Bin or Sticker chart

Positive reinforcement is a much stronger motivator for children of this age than anything else. A consistent, predictable reward or praise system helps to keep them engaged and motivated.  

Before introducing sticker charts, there are some considerations when it comes to twins. If your twins are very competitive, you may not want to have a visual sticker chart. It could possibly lead to your twins feeling bad if they don’t have as many stickers as the other twin. If this is the case, you can choose to put a sticker on their shirt. You can also find ways for the other twin to get a sticker such as sitting on the potty for a few minutes, even for no success. I would be VERY generous with the praise. 

Carpet or floor cleaner and wipes:

You’re gonna need it. 

Stock up on Liquids.

Your twins need to be well hydrated if they are actually going to be able to pee in their potty. They need to have fuller bladders than normal so that they are less likely to withhold. Now is a great time to let them choose some juice boxes to drink. I am normally not a parent that lets my kids drink juice, but potty training days are for juice. 

Having some prune juice or pear juice ready can help with potential constipation. Most kids don’t love the taste of prune juice, especially of they haven’t had it before. It’s fine to mix it in with some apple or grape juice to try and mask the taste.

Bedtime Pads

If you are choosing to potty train at night or for naps, please do yourself a huge favor and get some waterproof pads with flaps.

Extra towels or a beach blankets are a great option, especially if you have carpet. 

The Potty Training Process: 

Let’s walk through the basics of the potty training process that you will follow over the next couple of days.

Explain to your twin(s) that they are big kids now and they are going to learn to use the potty. Remind them that you are proud of them and they are going to have so much fun playing together while learning. 

1. Gather your supplies

Take a deep breath. Choose a room in the house that you will be set up in for most of the day. The living room or a family room are great options. Lay out your beach mats and set up your potties. Having them very close by is the best way. Don’t worry about the potty actually being in the bathroom. You want it close, trust me. 

2.) Take off the diapers

At this point, keep them bare bottom until it’s time for sleep. 

3.) Turn into a helicopter

Especially if you are tandem potty training, this is where the rubber meets the road. If you have 1 parent per child, each of you should have an assigned twin that you are in charge of. Watch them closely for any signs that they need to potty. If you see “the potty dance” or a child trying to hide, sit them on their potty. Don’t ask them, tell them in a kind and firm way. They don’t know that they need to go potty, you have to tell them. However, never force your child to use the potty. All we can do as parents is explain, offer comfort, encourage, and help. Ultimately, your child is going to decide where they put their waste. 

4.) Lighten Up

While you are a helicopter, this is the time to make things fun. Pull out your books and activities. Engage with your child, try to relax, have a good time, and just enjoy your time together.  

5.) Get the juice flowing

The more liquids they drink, the more practice they will get with going.

6.) Celebrate

The first time they go on the potty, make a huge deal about it. Even if only a drop gets in. Give them a sticker, clap for them, and shower them with praise. You could even call Grandma to announce the news. If their twin brother or sister is nearby, make sure to acknowledge that you are also proud of them for trying and that you know they can do it, too. If one goes or is showing signs, try to see if their twin will also give it a try. This is where having a potty chair for each twin is going to be essential. 

7.) Timed Potty Breaks

If they haven’t gone potty for two hours, you can gently attempt a timed potty break and sit them on the potty with an activity. Keep in mind that this should not become a power struggle. 

This process will likely take 3 days. Some kids might need 4 or 5 days of this. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t still potty training for the next month, though. You just don’t have to helicopter. You will start to learn some of their patterns and signs, which will make it easier. 

Naps

At nap time, lay your twins down diaper-free with just your waterproof pad underneath. Yes, they will likely have an accident, but it’s worth it to help them start to connect that peeing means being wet. This will lead to quicker potty training success. 

Night time 

It’s just fine to focus on daytime potty training only for the next couple of weeks or months. Just explain that at night we wear diapers. Be sure to take the diaper off right away in the morning and take note of whether it is dry or not. This will help you know when it may be time for night time potty training. 

This is especially true if you are having struggles with sleep at night. Check out my Twin Toddler Sleep article if you need help with this.

Outings

It’s a good idea to take your twins on a very short outing around day 3. You can take them together if you are feeling bold and have a partner, or feel free to just take one at a time. This should be a short trip to a familiar place, like Grandma’s house. Make sure to bring extra clothes for each child (I just keep a set in my car), extra wipes, plastic bags, spray cleaner, and consider a box of gloves. I also love this little travel potty that folds up and fits in a diaper bag. Have them use it at home before trying it out in public. 

Be sure to get a Piddle Pad to protect their car seats. It can be near impossible to get the urine smell out afterwards- especially with 2 or more car seats in the car. 

Leave the public restroom situation for when your little one is really comfortable going on his own potty. 

When it is time to use public restrooms, start with a folding portable seat to help your little one feel secure. Pro tip- have them practice using it at home first. If you are in a pinch, one trick I learned from a daycare provider is to have your child sit backwards on the toilet. This is especially helpful for little boys. 

Good luck, and I hope this helps you as you prepare to potty train your twins! If you have more questions or would like to schedule a call with me to talk through your situation, I’d love to hear from you.