Getting through the 4 month sleep regression with Twins

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Table of Contents

What is the 4 Month Sleep Regression?
Why Sleep Regressions are Especially Challenging for Twin Parents
How Do I Know If This Is A Sleep Regression?
Drowsy But Awake
Consistent Routines
Meeting You Where You Are
Sleep Tools
Daytime Sleep
Bedtime Routine
When They Cry
Caring For Yourself

What is the 4 month sleep regression? 

If you’re wondering why your 4 month old babies seem to be taking short naps, fewer naps, or waking more in the middle of the night, it might be due to the 4 month sleep regression. Although this can be a challenging time, the good news is that those newborn sleep patterns will soon be a thing of the past! Your babies are going through major changes to their brain development. Up until now, your newborn twins have been spending at least half of their sleep cycles in REM, or active sleep. Around the 4-month mark (gestational age), they start to spend the same amount of time in REM sleep as adults. Your babies may also be learning some new skills and reaching developmental milestones that they will want to practice when they should be sleeping.  

Why Sleep regressions are especially challenging for twin parents

By four months, parents of twins and multiples are beyond exhausted. I thought I was tired when I had my first baby, but it was nothing like the tired I experienced with my twins. The newborn stage with twins is brutal, so you are already entering this regression depleted.

As parents of twins, we get the added bonus of going through this phase twice. It’s possible your twins will regress at the same time, especially if they are identical. But many multiples will go through this regression one at a time. That means twice the time that you are dealing with shorter naps and sleepless nights compared to parents of a single baby. Unfortunately, the regression can typically last for a couple of weeks each. 

How Do I know if this is a sleep regression?

You may notice that if your babies have fallen asleep in your arms, you aren’t able to transfer them as easily into a crib or bassinet. They may have been able to sleep through noise and light a few weeks ago, but now seem to wake up with even small sounds and not be able to go back to sleep. Perhaps they were just starting to sleep for a few longer stretches at night and now they are waking more frequently at night and not able to go back to sleep. This could all be due to their changing nervous system and maturing sleep cycles.

Now is a great time to start to lay the groundwork for some healthy sleep habits going forward. I encourage you to be patient with your twins and yourself as you go through this phase, and see it as an opportunity for your babies to learn some independent sleep skills. 

Drowsy but awake

When your babies were newborns, it may have been difficult to tell when they were just drowsy because they could actually be sleeping with their eyes open. You know that creepy look they would have when their eyes were flicking back and forth or rolled back into their head? That was active sleep, and it could sometimes be mistaken for being awake. Now, it will probably start to be easier to identify when they are actually just drowsy. Four months is a great age to start to practice laying them down in their cribs when they are drowsy but awake. 

Consistent Routines

If you have started to establish some bedtime or nap time routines that work for you, that’s great and it’s a good idea to continue to stick to them. If you haven’t really established sustainable routines, now would be a great time to go ahead and start. Your babies will be able to start making some sleep associations at this point, which will help them recognize when it is time to sleep. Although you want to keep with similar routines, you may find that you’ll need to shift around the times a bit to match your babies’ wake windows. This might mean that you continue to read the same book and change diapers in the nursery, but now you are pushing the time a little earlier than before. 

Age

Wake Window

Naps per day

Meeting You where you are

The first few months of having multiples are rough, and by 4 months, many parents of multiples are suffering from a serious lack of sleep. They may find that they rely on a swing, bouncer, or self rocking cradle to get a little bit of extra sleep. Some people might tell you these are “bad habits,” but as a fellow mom of twins, you’ll never hear that from me. It’s totally fine that you have done what you needed to do to survive. But now look at you! You have made it through the newborn stage with twins! No small feat and a very commendable endeavor. At 4 months, and it’s time to shift your thinking out of survival mode and get ready for the entire family to get enough sleep again. 

Sleep tools

Twin babies often spend more time in “containers” such as car seats, bouncy seats, or swings than singleton babies which can affect their development as they grow. If you think your babies have been spending a lot of time in “containers,” think of this time as the perfect opportunity to get them into cribs. Not only will this help set them on pace to meet developmental milestones, it will also keep them safe and reduce their risk of SIDS I’ve seen twin parents teach their babies to sleep in their cribs with a couple  of strategies: 

Give it a try

Once your babies are calm and ready for bed, put them in their cribs and see how things go on the first night. You could decide to allow them to cry for a predetermined amount of time (such as 1-3 minutes), or use the pick up-put down sleep training method. Your 4 month olds are still fairly young for most other formal sleep training methods at this point. Always follow your doctor’s medical advice regarding sleep training program. If you decide to use this method, ensure your are still checking on your babies in their room or with a video monitor. They will still likely need night feedings at this age.

One at a time

Another option is to focus on one twin at a time. If you have one twin that seems to be more of a challenge to lie down in their crib, you could consider starting with that one first. Because they will likely cry and protest more, starting with this twin might be better so that they won’t wake the other twin who is sleeping soundly in their familiar sleeping space. After the more challenging sleeper has adjusted to their bed, you could move the more easy going twin. This process could take a few nights. 

Separate

You can also try to have them sleep in separate rooms or arrange their cribs on opposite sides of the room while you are practicing having them sleep in a crib or bassinet. This could be an opportunity to start moving them to their own room if they are still in your bedroom. (Although The American Academy of Pediatrics advises they stay in the room with their parents for at least 6 months). 

Progress Over Perfection

Just continue to practice lying them down in their cribs instead of a rocker or bouncer. If you are using a rocking bassinet, try having them fall asleep in it without the rocking feature. If they are able to spend half the night in their crib or bassinet without being held, rocked, or bounced, consider it progress! 

Daytime Sleep

The 4 month sleep regression is a fantastic time to get your twins on the same schedule. NOTE: If they are coming home from the NICU, chances are they already have a pretty solid rhythm, and you can ask the nurses to give you a written plan of their feedings and nap routines. Your babies might have slightly different sleep needs, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be on close to the same nap schedules. To get your twins on the same nap and feeding routine, you’ll need to break the cardinal make believe rule of “never wake a sleeping baby.”  

• Start in the morning when they wake up. If one twin is awake first, go ahead and wake the other twin within 20-30 minutes of the first one. 
• Even if you get one up before the other, do what you can to give them a full feeding at about the same time. If you are breastfeeding and not yet tandem feeding, just feed them one after the other. If you are bottle feeding at least one of the babies, try placing the bottle fed infant in a nursing pillow. For babies that are both bottle fed, Many twin parents love the twinZ pillow to lay both of the babies down together for a feeding.
• Approximately 2 hours after the first twin wakes up, expect to see at least one of your babies showing sleepy sings such as rubbing their eyes, yawning, or becoming fussy. Go ahead and lay them both down at the two hour mark of the first twin getting up. 
• Expect that your babies will be taking 3-4 naps per day at this point. 
• When one twin wakes from a nap, go ahead and wake the other twin within 20-30 minutes and be sure to feed them at the same time. 
• By 4 months old, time a baby can comfortably be awake between sleeps should be 2 hours.  Your babies should be close to the same sleep pattern and ready for bedtime sleep around the same time. 

Bedtime Routine

Bedtime Routines with twins can get overwhelming for one person to complete. Having a consistent bedtime routine for your twins is imperative to long term success with getting enough sleep. It is possible, and advisable that you start to practice a routine that works for your family. Ideally, one parent can do on their own. Make sure to create a calm and soothing sleep environment using black out curtains and a sound machine.

A word about feeding babies to sleep

Up until now, your babies have likely been falling asleep while feeding. Many newborn babies, and especially premies, have a hard time staying awake long enough to complete a feeding. It’s understandable! Your babies have been so well cared for and you have been doing everything you can to get them to eat, grow, and get the sleep they need (not to mention you). Now, your babies are no longer newborns and it’s time to start a bedtime routine that will work for your whole family. If there are things that you have already been doing that you feel are helpful and will assist in establishing healthy sleep habits in the future, keep doing them.

Here is a sample bedtime routine with 4-month old twins: 

• Feed the babies their milk, preferably in a different room than where they sleep. 

• Hygiene- a bath 1-2 times per week is fine at this age. Just wiping their faces, hands, underarms, leg folds, and neck rolls daily is a great idea. 

• Change into fresh diapers and pajamas

• Read a story, sing a song, or say prayers (twin mom hack: have a short book memorized so that you can always “read” it to them, hands free. I loved reciting the Very Hungry Caterpillar and Good Night Moon to my babies when I didn’t have a free hand). 

• Swaddle or sleep sack: if your babies are showing any signs of rolling over, they should NOT be swaddled anymore. You can swaddle with one arm out to help them adjust, but it’s time for a sleep sack. I like these Halo Swaddle/sacks because they function as both. I also like that you can still gently swaddle them around their chest (not too tight) so they still get that snug feeling. 

• Lay the babies down in their cribs or bassinet. The AAP recommends each baby be in their own sleep space. Since they are getting bigger and more mobile, this is an important age to make sure they have this space. 

• Repeat a key phrase to your babies such as “goodnight, I love you.” 

• Turn on the white noise machine, turn off the light, and exit the room

This routine should be simple enough that one person can complete it alone if needed. It can also be completed in about 30-45 minutes. Try to start the routine around the same time everyday. Plan to be laying them down as that wake window is closing, so start the routine 30-45 minutes beforehand. 

When they cry…

At 4 months old, your babies likely still need at least one night feeding, possibly more. This is something you should speak to your pediatrician about. At bedtime, they have ideally been fed a full feeding so that you can be sure they are not hungry just yet. 

If there is just one parent putting the babies to bed and they are both crying, have both of the babies in arm’s reach. This may be a twin bassinet or two cribs side by side. You can offer comfort by rolling them on their sides and gently patting their backs, or keep them on their backs and place your hand on their chest, gently rocking them side to side. If one becomes more distressed, you can pick that one up and comfort them until they calm down, but try to lay them down before they fully fall asleep if possible.

***Important: if you use the side lying method, be sure to roll the baby back onto his back before leaving their crib side. 

If you are solo parenting twins, it often happens that one baby is left to cry while you are tending to their sibling. This is perfectly fine as long as you are aware that they are safe. Evidence suggests that crying at this age is not going to damage your babies in the long run, so rest assured. 

If your babies wake up during the night, it’s ok to allow them to fuss or cry for 1-3 minutes before picking them up to comfort them. Their sleep cycles are changing and they are still learning to go back to sleep. It’s possible that their night wakings may be due to switching between cycles. If they continue to cry or you know it is time for a feeding, go ahead and feed both of them, attempting to keep them awake for the full feeding and then putting them back to their cribs awake. 

Caring for Yourself

The 4-month sleep regression sounds scary, but it’s actually a reason to celebrate. Your babies are maturing and getting ready to sleep through the night. Laying the groundwork now for healthy sleep habits later on is going to pay off very soon. 

In the meantime, ask for and accept help from family and friends. Only do what is totally necessary or enjoyable for you. Say “no” to obligations that are not essential for you right now. Never ever compare yourself to other parents, especially parents of singletons. Give yourself lots of grace. 

As always, when you need a break, take it. Even if your babies are crying, it’s ok to step away for 15 minutes and breathe, meditate, or just close your eyes. 

If you still feel you need more guidance, please reach out to me for a free sleep assessment.

 

References

Bilgin, A. and Wolke, D. (2020), Parental use of ‘cry it out’ in infants: no adverse effects on attachment and behavioural development at 18 months. J. Child Psychol. Psychiatr., 61: 1184-1193. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.13223

Katherine Finn Davis, Kathy P. Parker, Gary L. Montgomery, Sleep in infants and young children: Part one: normal sleep, Journal of Pediatric Health Care, Volume 18, Issue 2, 2004, Pages 65-71, ISSN 0891-5245, https://doi.org/10.1016/S0891-5245(03)00149-4.

Figueiredo B, Dias CC, Pinto TM, Field T. Infant sleep-wake behaviors at two weeks, three and six months. Infant Behav Dev. 2016 Aug;44:169-78. doi: 10.1016/j.infbeh.2016.06.011. Epub 2016 Jul 19. PMID: 27448323.