8 Tips for getting your twins on the same schedule
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Getting your twins on the same schedule is possible! It just takes time, planning, and a lot of flexibility. As a sleep consultant, nurse, mom of 5, and twin mom, I’ve got you covered.
One of the biggest challenges I find working with parents of multiples versus parents of a single baby is that each baby may have different needs when it comes to sleeping or eating. A schedule that works for one twin, may take some getting used to with the other. Give yourself time and grace to figure out what routines are going to work for your whole family.
A note on twin newborns
The early days with newborn twins are a blur. Realistically, it may not be possible to get your newborn twins to sleep on the same schedule. There are some strategies you can start to lay the foundation for healthy sleep habits. Check out my article on Newborn twins for more information.
One of the best things you can do to keep your newborn twin babies on the same sleep schedule is to keep them on a similar feeding schedule. If one is showing hunger cues, feed both babies, even if it means waking one up. When you wake one baby up to feed, wake the other baby as well so that they will have close to the same wake window and be ready for sleep again around the same time. Keep in mind that newborns have erratic sleep patterns and only have 1 hour wake windows and typically take around 4 naps per day. This is why it is important to have realistic expectations when it comes to getting your newborn twins to sleep on the same schedule
The best advice I got was in the book, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Twins and More. Many of the anecdotal stories in this book talked about parents of twins splitting up the night to handle all the diaper changes and feedings. My husband and I decided to try this in the early days and it worked fairly well. I would sleep from 9 pm-3 am, and he slept from 3 am-9 am. He had a flexible job and would work later in the afternoon. We also had friends and family help during the day so that we could take naps. We also hired a night nanny 2 days per week to catch up for the lack of sleep.
#1 Set up an ideal sleeping environment
Whenever it comes to infant sleep, follow the guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics and ensure your babies have a separate, safe sleeping space.
If your babies share a room, place their cribs at least 3 feet apart. Using white noise can help your babies sleep longer as they won’t be as likely to wake each other. Try placing a good white noise machine between the cribs, just be sure to keep any cords or outlets out of babies’ reach.
Black-out curtains are also important to help create a great sleeping environment for your twins. You can even find a set for travel.
If your babies aren’t showing signs of rolling over yet, swaddling them is a good idea to try and keep them sleeping longer. Once they start showing signs that they can roll over, stop swaddling them and move to a sleep sack. Sleep sacks should be used all through toddlerhood until your twins are potty trained at night. It helps to restrict movement, keep them in their cribs, and signal that it’s time for sleep.
#2 Come up with an age-appropriate schedule
By 4 months of age, your twins are likely ready to start following an age-adjusted sleeping and feeding schedule. That means that if your twins were born before 37 weeks, you will need to follow a schedule based on their due date and not their birthdate. Check out the chart below to see how long your twin babies should be awake and how many naps per day they should be having.
Bearing in mind how much daytime sleep and how many naps and feedings they need per day, you will want to write out what would work best for your twins. Choose a wake-up time and go from there. I recommend having at least a 15-minute activity between the end of any feeding and the start of sleep. This could be as simple as reading a short book and changing diapers after their bottle. Keep in mind that this will take time and adjusting for your twins. You may find that you will need to tweak some things on your schedule. You are still getting to know these little humans and finding out what works best for your expanded family.
#3 Stick to a consistent routine
To get your twins on the same schedule, it’s important to stick to a consistent routine. Once you have written out your planned schedule, it’s important to implement it. Print out a few copies, have it readily available on your phone, and share it with your partner or any other caregivers. You’ve heard the golden rule of baby sleep, “never wake a sleeping baby,” but that rule doesn’t apply to parents of multiples. Get up in the morning, no later than 7:30. Even if it’s been a rough night, make yourself a cup of quick coffee, and get your babies up. Follow your routine as best as possible, knowing that it will take time for your twins to get onto similar schedules.
#4 Feeding twins on the same schedule
It’s important to make sure your twins are on the same feeding schedule in order to get onto the same sleeping schedule. Although there may be different needs when it comes to how they eat, do your best to wake one twin up to eat if their sibling is feeding.
Tandem breastfeeding? Pop them both on, or try having one latch and get letdown going before latching the other. Are your twins both bottle-feeding? Wake them up and put them both on a TwinZ nursing pillow. Do you breastfeed one at a time? As soon as you are done with one, put that one down on a nursing pillow or bouncy seat to wait while you nurse the other. If you are breastfeeding one and bottle-feeding the other, put the bottle-fed on in a bouncy seat or nursing pillow, latch the breastfeeding twin on, and start feeding the bottle-fed one.
Then, you can change both of their diapers and move on to the next item on your schedule. If your babies still need a night feeding, make this as quick as possible and do your best to feed both of them at the same time.
#5 Lay your twin babies down at the same time
Continue to follow your twins’ sleep schedule that you have made. Follow a short nap time routine to indicate that it’s time for sleep. For example, this could be changing diapers, reading a quick story or singing a song, changing into sleep sacks, turning on the white noise, turning off the light, and closing the blackout curtains. Give them at least 20 minutes to try and fall asleep. Try using one of these sleep training methods if needed. In the first few days, do what you can to try and just get them on the same schedule, even if it means a contact nap just to get back on track.
At bedtime, you’ll also want to have a bedtime routine that both babies go through at the same time. This routine should be simple enough to be sustainable, but long enough to get all of the steps in. Generally, the bedtime steps should be feeding, hygiene, changing into diapers and pajamas, reading a story, swaddle/sleep sacks, laying them down in their separate sleep space, saying a key phrase such as “it’s time for sleep,” and turning off the lights.
#6 Wake your babies at the same time
I know you’ve heard that the “golden rule” of parenting is to never wake a sleeping baby, but that rule does not apply to parents of multiples. Synching up your twins’ awake times is just as important as having them sleep and eat at the same time. If your babies’ nap time is going longer than 2 hours, it’s important to wake them up. While your babies are awake, try to make their time stimulating so that they are good and tired by the time nap and bedtime roll around. Get outside, read some books, do some sensory play activities, and practice some gross motor skills.
#7 Twin Mom Pro Tip: Meet in the Middle
During nap time, it is common for one twin will want to sleep longer than the other. If one baby wakes up before the other, that’s totally normal! It’s fine to leave the sleeping twin for 15-20 minutes. If you’ve had to wake one of your twins early from a nap, it’s fine to meet in the middle when it comes to their wake window.
That means that if their awake time should be 3 hours based on age, but one twin has been awake 15-20 minutes longer than the other, lay them down for the next nap 7-10 minutes early. For example, if Twin A wakes up at 11:00 and you wake Twin B at 11:15, you might wonder if you should lay them down for their second nap at 2:00 or 2:15. Try meeting in the middle and lay them down between 2:07 and 2:10.
#8 Give yourself grace and time
I say it all the time, parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Make sure you are being kind to yourself and finding ways to celebrate the small steps. Getting twins to sleep on the same schedule takes time and it is not always a guarantee. Do what you can to roll with the punches and care for yourself. You are an awesome parent to your babies, they would absolutely tell you that if they could.
If naps and night sleep are still a challenge for you, contact me for a free sleep assessment and let’s figure it out together.
